I'm home.  Yesterday was as close to a nightmare as I could get with my eyes open. We got to the hospital at 7:30AM for an 8:00 appointment to have the two ports put in. One at my right shoulder and one below my bottom right rib. When we got there they only had orders for one port, SO we waited 1 1/2 hours while they figured out what was going on. They finally decided after a long conversation with Dr.Stone that I was indeed getting two ports. The first one was installed without a hitch (note the picture), but the second one was delayed two hours because apparently there was not enough fluid in my abdomen to insert the guide wire. Really? I was NPO after midnight (no food, no drinks) who figured that one out? AFTER two hours of waiting, they decided to do the second procedure with a CT Scanner. This was my 3rd CT in 3 weeks, no fear of excessive radiation problems, right? By the time the second procedure was over and Tim raced my wheelchair to the cancer clinic area, (do you know how bumpy hospital floors are?) we were too late to do the chemo. It was going to take 3-4 hours and it was already 3:30PM, NOW everything changed, we still had to spend the night at the hotel, be at the clinic for chemo at 7:30 the next morning and  then do the second one on WEDNESDAY. Jeez! My patience was wearing thin (my three children gifted me with a lot of patience, thank you very much, Tiffany, Sean and Grant!) and Tim was giving me that calm down look that I have learned to recognize over the last 25 years. We left the hospital and headed to the hotel and apparently the two batches of anesthesia for the surgeries did not sit well, I started throwing up in Tim's truck (I had a barf bag, woohoo) and continued until 10:00 last night. Now remember I was NPO after midnight, there was not much in there to heave. I told all of you I would give you the good and the bad and the ugly, well, my hysterectomy incision is still healing and now I have two mediport implants that are healing, and when I sneeze, or cough or HEAVE, I have to hold everything in, well do the math, I only have two arms with hands attached and it is difficult to hold everything AND kegel so that I don't tinkle on myself, SO guess what gave? We'll leave it at that, let your imaginations run wild at my expense, hey I'm game.  I'm thinking Tim needs to have a porcelain deity installed in his Dodge truck! It has all the other whistles and bells, let's add one more. If I wasn't heaving ,last night, I was zonked out, it was an out of body experience that I would like never to repeat.

Today went off without a hitch, a little over three hours of infusion with the first drug Paclitaxel. Everyone at the hospital has been very kind even though their right hand doesn't always know what  the left hand is doing.  We made it home safely and we even stopped for lunch, even though right now I am fighting to keep it down. You know that feeling when your throat gets tight, your mouth feels like your dog has slept on your tongue and you get that thin bead of sweat across your brow? Yup, that is where I am right NOW. One booger infusion down and 17 yucky suckers to go as well as 16 additional infusions of Avastin, the wonder drug we are trying out.

Many people have a "happy place" they go to when they are stressed or under physical pressure, my place is the North Shore of Point Reyes National Seashore just north of San Francisco. I grew up in the Napa Valley about 1 1/2 hours away from this beach which was a salvation and soothing place for me. It is not a good swimming beach, usually not too many people, there are tough undertows and an occasional white shark headed to their breeding grounds. But, it is a beautiful, wonderful beach for contemplation, walking your dog or just sitting and watching and listening to the waves. My kind of beach, give me some Celtic music and I'm good. The last time I was on the North Shore was in 2004 after I finished my second bout of cancer and my hair was about an inch long. I had a trade show in San Francisco and had a couple extra days, my good friend, Robin from high school was with me and snapped the picture below, can you tell I felt at home? "Happy places" don't work for everyone, but this one does it for me, so when I am at my worst, in my mind this is where I will be until the funky crap subsides and NORMAL makes a n appearance.