I'm HERE!!!!!!!!
It  has seemed a month of Sundays since I've touched base with my blog, but in reality less than a week, a very long very rough week! When Tim and I went to Little Rock on Tuesday for chemo, I was dragging my backside about 100 yards behind his truck. Absolutely no energy, every blasted side effect was beating up on my body and I just wanted to crawl in a hole somewhere. Needless to say the ever present smile was a little thin. My oldest son and his family were driving in from Virginia on Thursday and I was so afraid I wouldn't have the strength to even enjoy my grandchildren let alone try to be a hostess. I wanted so badly to see them and would not tell them no, but I was apprehensive that I would crash and burn and so was the rest of my family. My daughter from Austin decided to come up on Tuesday and was there when Tim and I got home from Little Rock. She had completely cleaned my house, washed linens, had fresh flowers in every room, bought food and no telling what else to help us out. I think Tim was almost as tired and run down as I was and we were both so glad to see her. My daughter was God sent and has been my saving grace this week. Sean and his crew arrived on Thursday and we put them up in a nice hotel close by where they can swim and sleep and yet we can be together every day but it also gives me a chance to rest between visits. Tiffany goes home tomorrow and Sean, Nikki and kiddos leave on Monday. My youngest son, Grant had Marine Corps drill this weekend and has promised to try and get back early enough tomorrow so that I will have all three of my children together at the same time before they scatter to the winds again. As the years go by, it is harder and harder to get them all at once  when they are spread out all over the country. AND just in case something unexpected should happen, I want to hold them all in my arms together for now.
I actually slept through the night last night, probably due to medical stimulation, but at least I slept. It has been very difficult to sleep with the heartburn, acid reflux, bloated stomach, neuropathy and that forever awful slept on dog tongue thing that stays with me every blasted day!!!
Let me see if I can try and describe how it is. Imagine burning your tongue on a cup of coffee, now rub the edges raw against your teeth, scrap the insides of your cheeks with a chisel, put a layer of steel wool across your tongue and add a large handful of cotton balls and a few Saint Bernard hairs for good measure. NOW, try and eat or drink something. When everything tastes like I'm chewing on aluminum foil my weight fluctuates 10 - 12 pounds every week. I look ridiculous! By next week my taste buds will start to recover and then I can eat something that tastes semi-NORMAL for a least a day or two... then we start this yucky, nasty funky, icky- poobie process all over again!
I want to thank everyone for their beautiful cards, the flowers, the emails and most of all your prayers. I can't begin to tell you how much they help and lift my spirits and I apologize if I fail to say thank you enough. Love, Kathi

WHEW!!
I finished round two! I still feel like something the cat dragged in, but I'm working my way back to the living! Give me a couple of days and I will be cutting up with the best of you WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Bear with me
Not there yet, but I'm trying. If anyone has spare body parts, I'll take them, two left feet, an extra head, definately new stomach, send them my way, anything is better than what I have right now. I can't even focus on my happy place, I know its outside San Francisco somewhere.

Can I hope for semi-normal?
I can hope, but it's not looking good for today, all the chemo side effects ganged up on me this morning. Hearburn, dog-slept on tongue, no taste buds, highly acute sense of smell (if someone comes around me with heavy perfume it will not be pretty!) nausea, bloating, constipation, hemmorhoids, incontinance, achy joints, headache. For those of you from the south you are probably familiar with the phrase "I'm going to put a case of whoop-ass on ya!" I think someone dumped a truckload on me. Going to commune with my pillow and blanket today, God Bless everyone, I will holler at you later.

Crashing, need to rest!

Went up to Little Rock yesterday to begin the second round of chemo. The picture at left was yesterday, eyes may be tired but the smile is still there. Had to meet with Dr Stone first but she was longer in OR than expected, so we started chemo 2 hours late. Since we added the new experimental drug, Avastin as well as the usual Paclitaxol, we were at the clinic until 6:30 last night. By the time we got to the hotel, Tim and I were both dog tired. Back to the clinic this morning at 10:00 and left at 3:00. This chemo (Cisplatin) today is the booger bear that puts 4 liters of fluid into my body, 2 liters straight into my abdomen. I have to jog to the restroom with my IV pole, legs crossed, get my drawers off and measure my urine output  without losing it all on the bathroom floor, It's really difficult to do, I feel like a bad magician! I have to do this to make sure this stuff is not toxifying my kidneys and that they continue to function properly. Apparently they are doing grand, thanks for asking!!! I swear I look like a six - seven month pregnant cockroach! DON'T ask me why that comparison, it just popped into my chemo brain, what can I say. Tim says I look like I've been fooling around with Neptune and that I'm going to pop out a water baby. Told you, we were both tired and getting punchy! I am including a picture of some of the IV fluids (yes, there were more than what you see) that went in today and also a picture of the "pregnant cockroach right before I got in the truck to come home Tim really needs to install a commode in this wonder truck!!.

I am sliding into yucky land pretty quick, entire abdomen is sore and full from the pressure of the fluid, it feels like someone is sitting on my chest (I can't get comfortable, sitting, lying down or standing up), the catch in my side has come back, the fuzz dog sitting on my tongue is creeping into my mouth, nausea is camping out at the back of my throat just teasing me terribly and I'm really, really tired. One big plus, I don't know if I mentioned it previously, but since my hysterectomy on May 17th, Tim has had to give me Lovenox injections (a blood thinner to guard against clots) in my belly every night.We have two more, tonight and tomorrow night and we will be done with that, WOOHOO. Back to a semi-normal bedtime (ain't nothing truly normal anymore, but I keep hoping!!!!!) God's plan, God's plan (I keep telling myself, he has a plan for me).

Round 2 - TKO
Did  chemo and first infusion of Avastin this morning. Little tired, little achy, lots of fuzzy mouth stuff, but I ate dinner, Tim was proud of me. I put on the weight I lost the last time, so keep your fingers crossed the porcelain deity does not ask for a sacrifice tonight. We go back in the morning for the pregnant look chemo infusion into the abdomen. Major Yucko!!!!!! WHen we stay here in Little Rock, we stay at the Holiday Inn Presidential, which is the hotel that Southwest uses. Larry Carpenter, the owner has been very good to us and all the staff have been wonderful. Right now, going to bed, say a prayer I don't "toss my cookies," and wish me luck.

Bald is Beautiful?
Yesterday I went with family and friends to Lake Hamilton which is in Hot Springs, Arkansas. I had a ball! It was a beautiful day and we spent it on the lake in an awesome boat. I wanted to get in the lake, but I was concerned about getting the two medi-ports wet, because they haven't completely healed and my blood counts are down a little so I need to be cognizant of infections. My wonderful family and friends came up with a compromise as you can see by the picture of me and my daughter. We floated behind the boat. The water felt great and I didn't get the ports wet, just my butt and my feet! The only yucky part of the day was my prickly and tingly head from the poor little hairs trying to commit suicide and dive off. I thought flying over the lake would get rid of most of them, but no, instead the wind created bald racing stripes! Talk about looking weird, hence, the cool Southwest Airlines baseball cap.

Everyone should be proud, I ate everything put in front and then some. Its almost like my body knows it has to eat a lot to prepare for chemo on Tuesday.  I was one tired puppy when I got home yesterday evening. I barely remember going to bed and my husband said the neighbors set off fireworks and I missed every snap, crackle and pop. This morning when I got up, I had little hairs everywhere, stuck to my face, all over my pillow and still had quite a bit on my prickly head. It amazes me how many hairs are on the human head! SO, I had my husband lather up my head and shave me bald. God love my husband! He apologized for cutting me and I said, " you haven't even started yet", and he said "but I nicked you the first two times so I'm apologizing in advance for this time." Third time is a charm, no nicks, woohoo! Below are the cream and slick shots, bald  may not be normal for me but right now it is beautiful!!!!