40-14 and counting!

This last week has been eventful, full and exhausting. A friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001 a year after my first cancer, died on Monday after her cancer came back with a vengence. Her name was Holly Johnson, she was 46 years young, absolutely vivacious and beautiful. She fought all the way to end.On Wednesday I was on a local TV show with another cancer survivor telling our stories. I did it completely bald, only because I was hot flashing so badly, I thought I would spontaneously combust if I wore my new wig.

 Last Tuesday was chemo and I had a milder version of Niagara Falls for a couple of days following the chemo.
Holly's visitation was Thursday night and the funeral was Friday morning. While I was sitting in the chapel at visitation several other survivors and myself were reflecting on numerous thoughts and  pieces parts that swam through our minds. One thought that I had voiced was being sad that I hadn't been able to bring all three of my children together in quite a while. When I got home from visitation that night I was sitting on the couch and my husband, Tim was acting a little unusual. Everytime a slow moving car would go by, he'd jump up and look out the window. He was starting to drive my nuts! It happened once more and he hurried to the back door and was calling the cat in, I thought he had surely lost it! I looked up and my daughter and my oldest son were standing in my living room with the biggest, most beautiful smiles on their faces, along with my husband who had undoubtedly the best looking Cheshire Cat grin. Tiffany and Sean flew in to Little Rock that afternnon, rented a car and drove down to surprise me for my 54th (40-14th) birthday which was Sunday! How cool is that!  On Friday night we met up with Grant, my youngest son for dinner, check out the pictures! Fortunately I could taste food and was feeling pretty good (at the time).

Tiffany, Grant and Sean, my kiddos!

Tim and I, what do you think of the cool wig? This is my back to flying hair!

Saturday night was Tim's 40th class reunion. We went but I tired easily so we didn/t get to stay long. Tiff and Sean left early Sunday morning. My parents came over for lunch on Sunday and brought me a gorgeous Victorian birdfeeder. If you've followed my blog you know how special the birds and waterfowl are to me outside my window, so this was a wonderful gift.
Sunday night good friends of ours fixed a birthday dinner for me and we celebrated another year of my life. Needless to say, I overdid it this weekend and am now paying for it, but it was a very special weekend. I now have NO taste buds, fuzzy tongue and nausea, terrible muscle and joint aches and booger Neuropathy in my feet and hands, which according to UAMS is normal for this point in the new chemo regimen! Boogers!!! AT least it waited till after my birthday weekend! I have communed with my pillow the last couple of days and will for a little longer, it is a very nice and soft pillow!
As you can see, it was a long, sometimes tough, but also a good week for me. I have one more chemo treatment on the 5th of October, and I WILL be done with this major bump in my road.I can do this, I can do this! One more time I can do this!
If everyone would, pleas offer up a prayer for Holly Johnson and her family, she truly was and will remain an inspiration to me. Rest in Peace, Holly.

IT'S Working!
My CA-125 is 18.9 WOOHOO! My counts ae all good so I can do chemo tomorrow in Little Rock. After that  one I only have one more on the 5th of October, counts willing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm getting closer!

NO CHEMO THIS WEEK!

WELL, my WBC counts doubled since Friday to 1400+, BUT, my hemoglobin and platelets were very low. So instead of getting chemo I got two units of blood! I knew I was tired but I didn't realize I was so anemic AND tired. I did get good news though, because I opted out of the clinical trial, I will get both of the chemo drugs in one day next week. I will then have three weeks off and go back for the same two chemo drugs given in one day. That day will be the last day for chemo!! Whoop, whoop, woohoo, woohoo! There is light at the end of my tunnel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
While I was disappointed not to get chemo yesterday, I do need the breather before getting the last doses of chemo next week and again in three weeks. After the last rounds of chemo, I will be able to rest and get them out of my system over a 4 week period and conceivably, I could be back flying by the first week in November! It's a plan, now I have to execute it! Fingers crossed, prayers offered up.

Still Low!
Well, my counts are still low! They are coming up but still low. Last week they were 630 and this  week they are 792, remember they need to be 1000 for me to go through with chemo. I need those collective prayers again or maybe continuously for the next six weeks so that I can get through the chemo and move on with my life. I feel pretty good, of course I haven't had any chemo for 2 1/2 weeks ( so, this is what normal feels like?) Needless to say, I have eaten everything in sight and gained several pounds. My face was puffy anyway from the steroids, now I'm puffy in all the wrong spots. I have no boobs and no ass, it slid down around the back of my knees at some point when I wasn't looking! I have a strange muffin top thing-a-ma-jig going on that is just not attractive, especially with all the scars and others issues going on with my poor body. I now have another goal, to get this mess back in shape so that I can get into my Southwest uniforms!
I heard something last night that  really touched me and I realized how true it is. It went something like this, " you learn so much about yourself from the people around you." no kidding! Because I've had to lay here so much and not be able to do a lot of things, i.e., gardening or cleaning my house, walking around the lake, or even just going out to dinner as much as I would like to, I have been able to sit back (or lay back) and watch people around me and I've looked inside a great deal more. The first two cancers taught me patience and tolerance, this cancer is giving me a tremendous insight into myself, for that, I thank the cancer (but that's all it gets!)
I've also gotten past asking "why me?"  I don't think anyone knows the answer to that and I could drive myself  and everyone around me plum crazy if I dwelled on that question.
I've also decided that it's OK not to be "FINE" all of the time, when people ask how I'm  doing, I tell them the truth, if I'm crappy, I'll tell them! Besides "FINE"  stands for "Fouled Up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional, and granted it fits me to a "T" right now, I just don't want that label all the time.
AS I've said earlier in my blog, God has a plan for me, and some part of it required three primary cancers! I still think he has an unusual sense of humor. If he is willing, Tim and I will head to Little Rock tomorrow morning and hope for higher WBC counts! God Bless all of you and to my SWA cohorts, fly safe this Labor Day.

Cooking Shows?!
I've never been one much for soap operas and I've seen almost all the movies on TV at least once, so I've become addicted to the Food Network Channel. What is so ironic is that I can't taste anything so I feel like the caged animal who can't quite reach the piece of food right outside the cage! I know, you're thinking, why is she torturing herself like this. To be honest, I haven't a clue! But I'll tell you what, some of the food looks awesome and maybe I'll be a world class chef just by osmosis when I'm done with this ordeal!

My two buddies who lay on the floor(or the end of the bed) are getting a little bored with the cooking shows. As you can see by the picture, Hurley would rather watch the squirrels right outside the window, Sampson couldn't give a flip one way or the other!

A couple of weeks ago, my oldest son and his wife put together a coed softball team for the Kick Cancer Tournament in Manasas, Virginia. After 13 hours of softball, they took 2nd place! On the back of their shirts was "Kathi H kick some cancer ass". How cool is that? Here is the picture of their team. I just haven't had a chance to thank them so, Thanks Sean and Nikki and the rest of your crew!

I've had a terrible headache the last couple of days, but today the headache has not come to visit, WooHoo, almost feel "normal" (but not quite).