I always thought the word "Normal" was boring, for example, "A normal day", "everything looks normal", "that's normal", "normal delivery", normal, normal, normal! Until your world caves in and YOU want to just "get back to normal"!

In June 2000 I was a healthy fairly well adjusted married 43 year old, exercised regularly, ate healthy, had a good job, in other words, normal until I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Normal took a flying leap out the window. After surgery, reconstruction, 8 rounds of chemo, 38 rounds of radiation, 6 months of a new drug called Herceptin, total hair loss, mouth sores, muscle and joint aches, bloating from steroids, yada, yada, yada, I recovered from the chemo side effects and I was on my way back to normal. When you are diagnosed with cancer, your outlook on life as a whole, changes. Some people are more fearful, some people more laid back and adventurous and a few undecided souls are stuck somewhere in the middle. Me, I am the adventurous type, let me get out there and start living again. Which is exactly what I did until July 2003 when I was diagnosed with a new breast cancer not related to the OLD breast cancer. You guessed it "Normal" snuck out the back door, damn him! Here we go again, surgery, 6 rounds of chemo, 38 rounds of radiation all the same nasty, funky side effects. This time though, I came out on the fearful end. After all, who gets diagnosed with two separate unrelated cancers, two strikes? I was 40 pounds heavier from the steroids, my self confidence had taken a nose dive, and I was conscious of every little ache and pain that I had, OMG, is it cancer again?

It took several years to swing back to the adventurous side, but when I did, I did it in a big, BIG, way. In 2008 I lost the 40 pounds, changed my appearance and followed a childhood dream and became a flight attendant with Southwest Airlines. Always wanted to fly, but always thought I was too tall, I am six feet, and then I thought I was too old, but a wonderful flight attendant who has become a good friend said to go for it and I did, how cool is that? I was in seventh heaven, God gave me a whole new life. My relationship with my husband improved, my self confidence and self worth sky rocketed and I was "NORMAL", except for two bad knees which were the result of the chemotherapy. I had lost all the cartilage in both knees and the only option left to me was a double total knee replacement which I had done in September 2009.

I was bound and determined to get back in the air, flying as soon as possible. I love my job and hated being grounded. The usual recovery time for a single knee replacement, let alone a double is 4 - 6 months, I was flying again at 9 weeks! WooHoo.! Can't keep me down or though I thought.

In March of this year I started feeling very tired, had some abdominal cramping, bloating, change in bowel and kidney functions. I contacted my doctors, they said it was a urinary tract infection left over from the catheter from my knee surgery. I took four different rounds of antibiotics and still was not feeling any better. I pressed on and asked the doctors to do more extensive blood work. Call it gut instinct or whatever you will, but my gut was screaming at me in more ways than one that something was not "normal".

I had read an article I found in Wired Magazine regarding the Canary Foundation whose purpose was to find better ways to diagnose certain cancers. One of the cancers was ovarian cancer which the founders mother died from, after repeatedly being told she had a urinary tract infection. Thank you Wired Magazine and the Canary Foundation for giving me the impetus to push on for a more thorough diagnosis. I was diagnosed on the 17th of May with cancer, had a radical hysterectomy and went home to wait on the prognosis. because at that point we didn't know if it was a metastasis from one of the first two cancers or a stand alone third cancer. On June 3rd Dr. Stone at UAMS in Little Rock, my new found friend, called to tell me it was a stand alone third Stage IIIC ovarian cancer, prognosis 1 - 5 years. "Normal" didn't even show up for this one, chicken s--t!

Now we come to today, I have been accepted into a clinical trial that I will begin this coming Monday, June 14th. It combines two available chemo drugs with a new drug that has not been approved for ovarian cancer. It has been approved for lung, colon and breast cancer. The purpose of the study is to determine the best of three different infusion methods. I was randomly chosen for one method which will administer the three drugs both intravenously and intraperitoneal. In other words I will have a mediport in my chest and a catheter in my abdomen and will receive the chemo through both every three weeks at UAMS in Little Rock. My ob/gyn oncologist, Dr Stone is the investigator on this study. My ports will be surgically implanted on Monday morning and I will have my first chemo Monday afternoon. My husband, Tim and I will spend the night in Little Rock and I will do my second treatment on Tuesday morning. Here we go again, with all the raging side effects! Who on earth gets lucky enough to have three separate cancers in ten years?!! Normal, hell, I've never been normal!

I will try and do short blurbs every other day or so and give you the best I can at trying to understand what I will be going through. God has a plan for me, I'm sure, I just need to practice more patience and tolerance to see what that plan will be.